أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم

بِسْمِ ٱللَّٰهِ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ

As Salaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,

We hope this answer reaches you in good health and Islamic spirit.

Based on your specific question and information provided.

Based on Islamic Jurisprudence the general opinion:  It is unlawful for a woman in a permanent marriage to leave the house without the permission of her husband even if this does not infringe on his rights. ( unless you fear Harm)

We need to hear from both of you to provide Guidance in this matter. Listen to your issues and clarify the rights and obligations for both of you under Islamic Jurisprudence.

Kindly, contact us in person if you are in our area or a Qualified Islamic Jurist who has  the authority and experience in handling these sensitive cases.

You can post a question, for general information regarding an issue if it confines to the Islamic Jurisprudence or not. For example” irresponsibility” is very Subjective. You or your husband may understand responsibility differently based on each persons understanding of rights, entitlements or what the environment considers it to be. The question is,  does Islamic Jurisprudence agree with your or your husbands understanding.? So, you can explain in detail what is the exact issue and what was the response to handle or rectify the issue. You mentioned you don’t want divorce, what about your husband ? What will this separation result in ? Have you considered the unintended consequences of living away? How will this impact the future of your relationship?

We can provide some general guidance regarding Marriage.

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ {21}

Surah 30:21: And one of His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them, and He put between you Mutual love and compassion / Mercy; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.

The Mutual Love between man and woman ( Husband and wife) is a Grace of Allah(awj). Love and Mercy is the cohesive force of this union. Most issues are resolved with love and Mercy / Compassion.

وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَيْنِهِمَا فَابْعَثُوا حَكَمًا مِنْ أَهْلِهِ وَحَكَمًا مِنْ أَهْلِهَا إِنْ يُرِيدَا إِصْلَاحًا يُوَفِّقِ اللَّهُ بَيْنَهُمَا ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا خَبِيرًا {35}

Surah 4: 35: And if ye fear a breach between them twain (the man and wife), appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire amendment Allah will make them of one mind. Lo! Allah is ever Knower, Aware.

If reconciliation between the husband and the wife cannot be made by themselves, the matter should be referred to the arbiters-one from the husband’s family and one from the wife’s family. You both have to agree to these arbiters who should be just  and have intention to perform justice and follow their advice.

If not, you can refer to a Qualified Islamic Jurist who will hear your issues and explain the law.

Even if these methods result in a solution, it needs to be implemented by both of you. If you both intend to reconcile it can be done. If not, even a Jurist will give general guidance and explain your rights and obligations.

You are the people responsible for your family, and its welfare and any consequences resulting from your final decision. You, your family, friends and your husband, family, friends and even the Jurist will not be the people who will answer for the decision. It will be you and your husband. You both will be questioned on your intentions, efforts to reconcile and the Trust which is entrusted to both of you ( The children ).

Islam has Belief/ Aqeeda, Ethics/ Morals and Law.  Do’s and don’ts  are the safety net to prevent the Marriage from further deterioration. They are not the goal or standard to go by. Understanding the purpose of life and the institution of Marriage is critical. Marriage is a union between a male and a female and it results in procreation and once you have procreated. Their physical, mental, spiritual health and educating them and assist them in finding suitable spouses is your Obligation. A broken family will not result in accomplishing these priorities.

We live in an environment where the conversations revolve around our rights, individualism our preferences and desires. We can get distracted with this, if you look carefully the Country, Corporation, team their collective rights take priority our the individual rights and entitlements. However, in the family, the same environment teaches us to prioritize individualism over the collective family obligations. In the west we have an added responsibility to protect our and our next generations Aqeeda ( Belief). There will be always risks and benefits in any situation, you and your husband need to reflect and see if the risk out weigh the benefits or the benefits out weigh the risks.  Keeping the Family together, and ensuring the Islamic belief is protected in our next generations , out weighs any personal  compromise / sacrifice.

As per the Hadith al-Thaqalayn we have Ma’sumun (The Fourteen infallible) to look up to for guidance in our understanding of Islam, Islamic behavior and the priorities of this transient life on earth.

Since in the end it will be your decision. If you both can communicate and resolve your differences, it is preferred option.

If not, you and your husband need to visit a Qualified Islamic Jurist. Who can handle this kind of sensitive case.

اَللّٰهُ أَعْلَم
‎
(and Allah(awj) Knows best)
If you have further questions kindly contact us at (718) 297-6520 Ext 113 Monday to Saturday between 11:AM – 3:00 PM.