Fatima asked 2 years ago
In 2020 I met man of our local shia community. He is the brother of one of our family friends and is in England studying. We started talking online with the intention of getting married. He is Kazmi Syed and i am non syed. He spoke to his guardian who contacted my dad about a proposal of marriage. My father didnt reply to this proposal and cut off all contact with them.I have been trying to convince them since last year i have spoken to all the elders in the family however my father wont listen to anyone and continues to refuse. I am now 18 , so i am independent according to rules in the UK. My father raised me using money from the government with some of his own income. He is not presenting any reasons for why he will not get me married and the reasons that he did give arent true for example he said the man is uneducated and an illegal resident in this country and that he is clever in nature. We discussed with some ulema what to do and they said because of the stubbornness of my father we can have our nikkah. My father has repeatedly threatened me and the man i want to marry saying he will kill us both if we dont stop discussing this topic. Our nikkah was read about 2 weeks ago but my father is saying its invalid as there was no wali, is this true?
mehdi answered 2 years ago
أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم
بِسْمِ ٱللَّٰهِ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ
As Salaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,
We hope this answer reaches you in good health and Islamic spirit.
Based on your specific question and information provided.
Kindly, contact Qualified Islamic Jurists in person in your area.
We can not comment on this issue as we need to hear from both parties involved.
However, we will provide you with general guidance in matter of Marriage.
The Islamic Scholars have divided the Islamic teachings in three parts.Fundamental of Faith ( Belief / Aqidah), Islamic Ethics / Morals, and Islamic Law/ Fiqh / Jurisprudence. The “institution of Marriage” is covered by all three. The “Marriage Contract” is cover by Islamic Fiqh.
From the Fiqh / Jurisprudence perspective. ( Marriage Contract).
If a girl wishes to get married and she has reached the age of legal responsibility (bulūgh) and is mature (rashīdah) – meaning that she is able to determine what is in her interest – and she is a virgin, and she is not in charge of her life’s affairs, such a girl must obtain the consent of her father or grandfather. In fact, based on obligatory precaution, even if she in charge of her life’s affairs, she must still obtain their consent. The consent of her mother or brother is not necessary.
Independent here means in ALL your Affairs ( meaning here is not only restricted to independence in financial affairs). Also means that the father has allowed you to marry whomsoever you want or that he has withdrawn from interfering in the matter of your marriage, it is permissible for you to do so; otherwise, it is not permissible.
The emotional bond between the parents and the children is one of the greatest relationships that sustains the humanity. If they are not respected, honored and shown kindness. If this primary and natural bond is not honored in words and in action. The children’s emotional ties and connection can cease and as a result all secondary social bonds may become trivial and may unravel.
والله العالم
(and Allah(awj) Knows best)
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